On the stage I sit. And sing. Solo. Being alone in the masses - A wonderful feeling. I feel free.

On the stage, my mind remains full of love & life & that brings a smile on my face. Sometimes, but a heavy head & an aching heart too I carry. And sometimes, blood-wet I go on the stage & sometimes with moist eyes, yet - that too brings invariably, a smile on my face. As I have learnt by heart “Show must go on!” :O)

I sit in a posture straight & stretch my vocal-folds to breathe in! I breathe in the life! & comes out, the Music when I breathe out! My Music! My own?

For this Music, & only music, I die & live on the stage, off the stage too... I gather all my senses & focus fully on soor shabda bhaav rasa laya chaitanya… !!?!! Donno… !!

But for sure, I don’t allow my mind wander here & there! & my elastic mind then becomes static & sharp, razor sharp for the moment…  At once, inward & outward looking it becomes… attempts to capture that ‘listening mind’ who stares at me ceaselessly…

But… but surprising me, overpowers suddenly the magic of that everlasting tradition… of which a small part I am … She plays her own role, makes my vocal-box an instrument & starts singing her own song through me!

I do make an effort to resist Her! To let my I, Me & Mine rule… My learning, My experience, My experiments, My music, My listener! :O)

Oh! In vain… very soon merges my mind into that ‘Collective Mind’ & melts my music into the ‘Universal Music’! Losing its own shape, colour & voice… the whole being becomes One with the Divine Grace for that moment… Though for that one tiny moment.... No Mine, No I, No Me! & when the crescendo is touched upon, remains there just a ‘Patra’… A carrier…

And stands that empty ‘I’ - on the stage – Solo.

PS – But... The real tragedy begins when one steps down, & soon all ‘My’, ‘Mine’, ‘Me’ engross one’s mind & music wildly & leave the one nowhere even near to this Divine Experience! :O(

“Maya! Maha Tthagni!”

(Painting by Saumyakishor Chakroborty - Source: Internet)