Anandiamma is a cute old lady, only 75. She lives in a small town, with nobody. In a simple, hut like house. Alone & yet not lonely.

 I know her. Since my childhood. She was always a story teller… she used to weave stories from her own living & tell us in a manner so interesting that we used to marvel…  whether they are really unreal or…

 Once… when was she a young & charming woman, she fell in love with a young man… & he too loved her desperately. Life was looking like a fairy tale but they could not live happily ever after.

 He was a doctor & she was nothing. But did happily become his compounder in his struggling days… :O) slowly he became a Big Name & a Big man.  & she remained where she was, where she wanted to be. And before they could realize, love disappeared from their way…

 Anandiamma did not mind his going away. May be, she knew somewhere deep, that he will go away.

 Then she studied. In her times, & for her age, a lot. She learned languages & arts. Slowly, she started teaching in her own school.

 One day, in her school came a teacher to teach drawing-painting. He was an artist - introvert, with a poetic mind. A loner & a wanderer too.  Both became friends, he liked her & she too liked him. Much. May be she had started dreaming them both together… She cared for him, a lot. They put together exhibitions of his works of art in various schools, Anandiamma became his manager sort, and he earned a lot in that small town.   & when the time came, Oh, yet again, he revealed, he was already married… His wife & children in village. Waiting for him.

 She had loved him deeply & yet Anandiamma did not mind his leaving. She had seen a man leaving her before too. She kept on living.

Anandiamma was a good teacher; she had taken her children one day to a debate competition where many of the won were given prizes by a known business man of the town – He saw Anandiamma & was impressed so much by her that proposed her for marriage – Anandiamma took a pause. Thinking. It was true that she had longed for love & family in life more than anything else.

 They had three children. Anandiamma was feeling that she was happy. She was indeed, happy - looking after children & family. She was never ambitious. She did not need to work; she did not need to prove anything.

 But Anandiamma was destined not to live a simple life. Soon after, she lost her husband. Massive heart-attack. A business man. Who could not handle the pressure of the heavy business debts.

 Anandiamma. Unaware of the debts. Now became aware & alone, with three children & debts. Family was there & thus the responsibility too.

 Yet, Anandiamma did not mind his leaving her, she wondered - how & why doesn’t she mind the departure of all her loved ones? She felt deeply sad & yet, she felt like to keep on living.

 She was not given a chance again to serve her own school. She started in her own house a playgroup. She had now with her own three, many more children to play with & tell stories to. I still remember the stories which she told me when I was little child. Playing with her in her playgroup, & also I do remember her ease with which she made friends with me later, even when I was a grown up girl…

 Anandiamma’s Children had grown up & had left her where she was – in that small town. They were the children of an ambitious man. Wanted to fly high.

 Again, Anandiamma did not mind their leaving her. She had seen many more departures. She still kept on living.

 Growing older, Anandiamma once more was alone. She now had started to serve an orphanage. She was kind & helping – also smiling all the time. She became soon the volunteer much in demand. She met there, a man, head of the organization. A great orator & an influencing man.  Anandiamma did feel like to serve him too.

 After meeting him, & having contented conversations with him, she for the first time, felt like to derive some meaning out of her life. She started looking in.

 She felt obliged by the head, for showing her the path right. She thought there is one more Anandiamma whom she had never met before. She was touched by the glimpses of that Anandiamma, the Anandiamma, who was not perturbed by so many departures. Who kept on living. She now felt blessed & happy. She had discovered herself much.

 But Anandiamma was also aware that, she had started getting deeply involved in the man, & she knew it was the same with him too. She did try to curse her heart, but couldn’t.

He was a man having worldy duties, ties & bonds, & after all was heading an organization which was teaching the students a wholesome living. Then how come he himself was imagining an unwholesome tie between them? May be the Deep Desires he had buried for so long had come on the surface after having an intense emotional encounter with Anandiamma…

 But Anandiamma?

 She had decided. & made up her mind. She had experienced & lived the truth that every worldly tie in her life had remained essentially fragile. It had existed to pass away. All mundane relations were bondages of her life in fact. She thus felt she would really humiliate her own feelings for him by converting them into something so wordly...

 And for the first time, the time came when SHE decided to leave.

Became alone. Once again.

 Anandiamma.

 Anandiamma’s heart was real big. She loved every little child she met & the family she knew, & yet she wondered at this ripe age, whom did she live for really?

 For her own self? For the world outside? May be for all those men who left her, or may be, for her own longing to be loved & to love deeply…???!!!???

 But for sure, with every rejection, she grew. Older & wiser too.

 I don’t know whether she has really found the meaning as yet or not, but one thing I know, these days she often goes to sleep while telling stories…!!   :O)

 Anandiamma could be a real woman or may be an unreal one too.

 But I know her. As she lives in me & I live in her.

Today also, while singing, whenever I close my eyes, I see her charming, lovely face – saying: “I love you! Will you too love me my child? “

 (With all my honesty & naivety too – :o) - I offer this writing to my dear Ilander Friend – Sarbojeet Sen, for giving me his patient & compassionate ear whenever I need it the most.. :O) )

Painting by - Aziz Elhihi - Source: Internet.