You said.

"Now may every living thing,
Young or old,
Weak or strong,

Living near or far,
Known or unknown,
Living or departed
or yet unborn..

May every living thing.
Be full of bliss."

Oh Lord..

You also lead us towards Freedom.

Freedom from Hatred.

Freedom from Guilt.

Freedom from Slavery.

from Illwill. from Vengeance.

And You fill our hearts with Love. Compassion. & Amity ..

My Lord.. My life goes on &

I walk on the path you have shown.

I seek pardon from all whom I have hurt

Knowingly or unknowingly.. &

I pardon them all who have hurt me.

Knowingly or unknowingly.

"I lovingly release the past now.

They are free. And I am free too.

All is well in my heart now."

Thus. I sit quietly.. I close my eyes.. I observe my breath. in coming & out going. I attempt to see the happening inside & outside as it is. As it is. I feel the calmness within to a great extent.

Oh My Lord.. And yet.

The only thing I still attain inadequately - You know naa? Equanimity. Equanimity.. Equanimity. :O))) :O)))

But. I smile. and again move ahead. move ahead on the path.

Thank You for being there for me. Always. So unconditionally.

++++++++++++++++

P.S - Friends. Mind and Music are demanding much of me as

always & taking me away from Iland now .

On Sabbatical I am. ! Donno when will I be back here....

Loves, Pra~! :O)))

These days. I am learning to operate Sounforge. a recording, mixing & editing software. Thus tried to record something in my voice sitting right in front of my PC, without taking any external support like musical accompaniment etc.. A complete domestic recording this is.

Friends, thus you know now, this is an experiment, in every sense of the word! :O))

& here it goes. :O))

boomp3.com

This is a poem written by Gurudev Tagore. also it is a component of the Divine Music created by Him. Robindro Shongeet. I recite this song in a live programme called 'Kabyer Kotha' based on Tgaore's poetry.

Poem "Krishnokoli.." Celebrates the beauty of a dark village girl & the dark - divine nature which surrounds her. Here is the translation of original Bangla Poem. done by Smt. Rajlukshmee Debee.

"Black Blossom" I call her, though

The village-folk call her "the dark one"

On a cloudy day, I saw at a meadow

The black girl, with eyes

Black, like the eyes of a doe.

She had no veil on her head

Oh her back lay the open braid.

Dark? Be she black as black can be

Her doe-like black eyes I did see.

A sudden gust of easterly wind

Made waves across paddy-fields

Alone, I stood by the stile,

None else could be seen on any side,

Did she at all look my way?

Only I and that girl can say.

Dark? Be she black as black can be-

Her doe-like black eyes I did see.

This is how the kajol-black cloud

Comes up at the Ishan sky in summer,

This is how an inky soft shadow

Falls on tamal-groves when it drizzles,

This is how the rain may fall all night

And softly fill the heart with delight.

Dark? Be she black as black can be-

Her doe-like black eyes I did see."

I dedicate this song to my loving & kind Bong friend Ilander Indigo Iris Thanks II. for being there, when I started to make an attempt to learn Robindro Shongeet! I hope you will, accept me with all my imperfection as always.!! Loves & Hugs. Yours, Pra~! :O)))

Posting Mujik Again....

(This is a Songlet/ Bandish from folk music of North India - a Jhoola, which belongs to a poet - Lalit Kishori from Radhavallabh Sampraday, a bhakti cult - which attempts to understand Krishna through Radha's eye! Now this form called 'Jhoola' is adopted by Semiclassical stream of Hindustani Music & is performed in concerts regularly!)

Pra's Jhoola In Live Concert

Text:

"Aaj Dou jhoolat rang bhare!

Musakat Radha pyari, shyam salone sayan kare!

Nanhi nanhi bundan pare patan pe, jyun shashi meen lare!

Ud Ud achraa pare jhoolan pe, nirakhat ang khare!

Lalitkishori kahe kar joree, Mohan Mann ko hare!"

Dedicated to AaiBaba, my Parents. & to Their 50 years Love Story, which is still as cheerful n alive as it was 50 years back! :O))

Love You AaiBaba!

Yours Banwri Dottir, Pra~! :O)))

PS-

Kindly bear with the bad recording quality as it was recorded live!

(Painting By Milon Mukharjee)

(The painting posted here, is my DS which brought about some interesting discussion between me n my ilander friend Rahul- (rahulwrites.rediffiland.com) Felt like to share these GB exchanges with all my ilander friends now.Here it goes)

Rahul - In all the faces on the painting in ur dreamspace, there is only one eye visible. What does that signify?

-Rahul

Pra- Rahul... the painting in my DS...

These are my feelings n impressions abt it...

Not only one eye... I feel. In this collage like painting, actually only One side is revealed... half concealed Feminity... n half revelaed Womanhood...

I relate it thus to my own Incompleteness hmm? :O))

Also... the use of the vibrant colours.... Green, Red... Shows lot of Life... in spite of all mystery... and incompleteness... There is life. In fact That is Life!

That is what & Much more I feel... but not psbl to put it all in words...
Loves, Pra :O)

Rahul - I first thought it that was a sign of terror or fear. But it was not a sign where one eye was closed. But one thing is interesting. In some of the faces, half face itself is hidden, along with the eyes. But in some, the other half face is visible, but only the eye is not there! And there are innocence on all faces - a commom trait... And one of them wears only a neck-tie, something that is considered a man's garment! And wait, the middle two faces are something! Two halves of the same face!!! but both don't have the other eye! Seems the painter was either not sure about what s/he wanted to show, or I am not able to get it...

Your explanation was quite right. (1) But how do you explain the middle two faces, morror images? (2) And why these two wear caps? (3) Above the figure wearing a neck-tie, there is a horizontal bar - it that symbol of hanging? :)

Pra- Dear Rahul... Wonderful Observations... :O)))

But, Isn't it a quality of any good art, to raise quiestions in stead of giving solid, sterotyped answers?

This particular painting appeals to us as it poses questions... Unfortunately I donno the name of the painter of this abstract painting which I have found on Net!

Yeah... I do feel... The faces with the clown's caps are indeed mirror image-like ones... But again very tender, feminine faces, also, incompletely revealed... And... the one, wearing neck-tie... if you obsevre, is a female structure only... May be a 'contemporary' female-structure...?? :O))

Hmm. Horizontal bar... I guess it again implies a blank frame - A screen with few hazy dots.... again, some sort of uncertaintiy, hanging on the wall...... ?

Well.... Art is more about feeling rather than sheer understanding.... what say?

Loves for you....
Pra~! :O)))

Rahul- When a child paints, there are some very nice patterns :) But it depends on the person who sees what. So I agree with you...

But how to differentiate a great artist from a novice? Shouln't he be able to generate a wanted pattern of thinking in the observers, and that should make him/her great? :) Otherwise any abstract art will be called great creation, as people won't understand it, so they will think it must be wonderful? :)

Regards,

Pra - Oh my dear Raul... Why do you want to 'differentiate' between novice and great? It is quite an intellectual exercise i feel... :O))) Let the time decide that. Personally speaking, my role here is to see, feel and appreciate the work of art in front of me - in my own way. And become a part of that process of art making..

Also... I really don't feel that any genuine artist wishes "to generate a WANTED pattern of thinking in the observers, and become GREAT"... That would be like imposing ONE single meaning on the work of art and also on you n me....

Contrary, he/she wants his work of art to expand with its reader, viewer or listener... this is the beauty... that work of art not only belongs to the artist but also to the beholder... he may - the beholder, accept or reject the work as per his sensitivity! This freedom of Rejection is always respected in all artistic traditions!

As far as my notion is concerned, good works of art always possess multiple layers & possibilities of interpretations... And implie/indicate something inexplicable, which is felt by human mind yet doesnt fall in the limited territory of language and thus can't be explained intellectually with the help of language!

Yeah, as you say, there is this temporary danger we face, that if ppl don't understand they would call any abstract art great! But again, society and culture are great forces, who don't really allow something superficial and dishonest to prevail for long. Appreciation based on 'Misunderstanding' is like a wave impermanent which doesn't last long. :O))

We can go on n on with this my dear.

But, I stop here for now!

Loves, Pra~!

Rahul - Thanks a lot. I got it :)

Regards.

("The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.. It is the source of all true art & science!" - Albert Einstein)

You know... What happened the other day? I was giving a Solo in open air. in a garden. under the tree. as soon as I started singing. all the birds. cuckoos & perhaps. a nightingale also. :O))) Started. singing... chirping. & responding. to the music. and the whole atmosphere was filled with the songs sung by Man n Nature together. Indeed... It was a feeling magical. I could feel deep in my heart. still, still there is so much bliss Nature wishes to shower on me. !!!

Aah. Kya meri hee jholi phati huee hai? :O(((

Inshaa Allah! Then I sang... " Dard se mera Daman bhar de... Ya Allah! Phir chahe, diwana kar de... Ya Allah! "

(Photo By - Nilesh Dhakras)

"Laali merey Laalki..... Jit Dekhun Tit Laal...

Laali dekhan Main gaee... Main bhee ho gaee Laal...

("I behold the resplendence of my beloved Lord wherever I see; as I went in search of him, I too became dyed in His colour."

Kabir thus beautifully expresses his deep love for the divine wherein he eventually becomes one with Him and loses himself in divine bliss and beatific joy. He finds Him wherever he looks, inside or outside him, as he basks in the glory of the Lord. :)))

-Kabeer

(Translation done by my dear friend 'Freedom Unbound' -http://unbound.rediffiland.com/)

PS-

Friends, Posting here a number from Hindustani Classical Vocal, a Bandish in Raag Sohani, sung by my husband Sameer (raagees.com) in a live concert held in 2007 June.

Sam's Sohani: http://www.mediafire.com/?yjtctsi9hjt

(Pic Source- shangrilagirls.com)

Dear Friends..

One year back. when I came here. carrying the heavy bundle of my own trials & errors with me. :O) I had No idea. what kind of experiences are waiting here to embrace me starkly . & I met them. Experiences.. As well as people. People Like me. Wandering. & Searching something 'Un-searchable'. & yet. people. full of life. full of love. :O) The People. who loved me & empathized. accepted me with all my incompleteness. with all my Trials & Errors those my Art & Life are full of. :O) & I thus could find some True Soul-pals here I could see the reflection of my own soul in them. and found a reason solid to belong to this virtual place called Iland.

But. More Interestingly, I also met.. People Unlike me. who showed me the Mirror. showed me the path completely different, which I had never encountered or walked on before. They did a great help without making me feel obliged!! :O) Aah. That is something which made me discover yet, another Me. May be a different dimension of me, of my mind & of my music too? A different me, which already rested deep down.!?! Oh. and how unaware me was... !! Yeah. Indeed. this 'Unlikeness' gave a lot. something unforgettable. My heart gets filled with joy & gratitude when I think of these pals. And my mind marvels at such tiny & yet worthy much worthy wonders those are happened to me through this Virtual Bonding!

Certainly Blogging here has benefited my being immensely & I feel calmer, I feel happier!! Most importantly I feel blessed! No exaggeration indeed, I feel that though small, I have lived one whole life in one year here on Iland! And it has been an amazing experience to have found the glimpse of a me Real while being in this world Virtual. :O)

Noone knows what happens tomorrow. So, me takes the opportunity to speak my mind & share my heart here & now.

With all my trials & errors,

Yours, Pra~! :O))))

PS Here is an article written by a friend on Blogging, who introduced me to Blogging, who is a bilingual writer in contemporary Indian Literature and a serious blogger himself.

January 16

On Blogging once again

Some days back, I chanced to see `We, The People' on NDTV, a programme anchored by Barkha Dutt. The issue of the day was whether blogs should be censored. What was more interesting however was the discussion on why people blog at all. There was this obvious paen to Freedom of ex-pression. But what was curious was the way people express their private lives in a public domain. They would not talk about many things to their friends, but the things would appear on their blogs. Blogs give a certain amount of anonymity and allow people to hide behind their confessional screen. This can take away the inhibitions.

My own experience with the Net is lot similar, though not directly with blogs. My friends tell me that I open up a lot and I am a different person while I am chatting. I am less inhibited and flirt and say things which I would not have said during face to face meeting. You see I am very often shy.My friend says that this is a symptom of multiple personality disorder. The Net and techology can indeed proliferate identities. Digital identities can act like a mask and liberate.

In the programme, there was also discussion about various types of blogs and bloggers. Blogosphere is a hetereogenous sphere where you have all sorts of blogs and bloggers. Like a library catalogue, you can locate and access the kind you are looking for.

As I have discovered lately as a writer, that blogs can be liberating even from suffocating literary culture. Pathare's diatribe against bloody blogging postmodern poets like us can be seen as an example of the bewilderment of the establishment to the liberating potential of the new media.

Blogging can even be a challenge to the traditional publishing business in future. Publishing houses worked as newer forms of patronage and constraints on the writer. Blogging will be a threat to the older forms of literary politics and probably give rise to newer forms of politics. What form? Lets wait and see for ourselves.

By Dr. Sachin Ketkar-

http://sachinketkar.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!1E131B2A89C666C9!433.entry|

(Painting by Rassouli)

"Aashiq Maaraa Padaa.. Ve Zaalim.. Teri Naram Nigaahki Adaaka.."

boomp3.com

This is an example of Old form of Ghazal, & particularly, this Ghazal contains a Masculine ex-pression .. It is a song of a Neglected Lover.. Thus, carries the Pain of the protagonist, who is moaning musically!

As Music does have a voice, which is beyond gender.., I had tried to explore this Masculine Feeling of the Bandish through this rendering. which is a five year old rendition.

Like everything else, my mind & music also have undergone change, may be it was a different Prachi who had sung this. Yet, putting it here today at this moment, while looking back, somewhat neutrally!! :O))

The rendition is preceeded by Ghalib's few all time great ashaar..

"hazaaroN KHwahishaiN 'eisee,

ke har KHwahish pe dam nikle

bohot nikle mere armaaN

lekin fir bhee kam nikle

nikalna KHuld se aadam ka

sunte aayaiN haiN lekin

bohot be_aabru hokar

tere kooche se ham nikle

mohabbat meiN naheeN hai farq

jeene aur marne kaa

usee ko dekh kar jeete haiN

jis kaafir pe dam nikle

KHuda ke waaste

parda na kaabe se uThaa zaalim

kaheeN 'eisa na ho

yaaN bhee wohee kaafir sanam nikle"

- Ghalib

Melting Minds.

A Dialogue between two Artist-Friends:

Dumbo: Hey... just felt like to chat for a while..

There is nothing new actually which I can share with you... but still I felt like to share something you know...... as I have realized in last few days... you are an artist-soul... a sensitive soul... a kind & compassionate human being & I have evidences to make my realization stand...

I feel great the way Art has tied us together as good friends... who truly care for each other... though we seldom know the details of each other's life... Actually we don't need to know. Neither do have we met each other. Actually We don't need to meet too. n yet, we feel we are pals... :O))) Somehow there is this connection. a strong one. & I connect to that wandering yet humane spirit in you... & feel I hold the same spirit inside... though not as tangibly as you hold it within you... Spirit of a Wanderer!

Nutty: :O)

Nutty: dozed off?

Dumbo: Naah. Thanks... I mean it... for being there.....

Nutty: What happened to you?

Dumbo: what happened to me hmm??

Dumbo: Can't say what happened... :O))) Many a times it happens while singing.... :O)))

Nutty: I know.. I know.. One woman's ceiling is another woman's floor.. But still..

Nutty: U r very kind, for all those kind words u just mentioned..

Dumbo: :O)

Nutty: and I never get tired of my friends.. :O))) And I never give a chance for me being the reason for it to wither away..

Nutty: u know, there is a part in I CHING..One of the oldest and richest of all Chinese texts on meditation and philosophy.. Much akin to our sutras..

Dubmo: hmm...

Dubmo: tell me...

Nutty: there is a part which goes.. "When 2 people are at one in their innermost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.. And when 2 people understand each other in their innermost hearts, their words r sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids...

Dumbo: Right... very lyrical... & also truthful...

Nutty: they r mostly in hexagrams and symbols, and English is grossly inadequate to explain much of it. but this seems the closest..

Nutty: something like there is no word in English language that can explain to u the full meaning of Guru..

Nutty: a teacher is a pale imitation..

Nutty: there is no divinity in it..

Dumbo: Right.... Right. tell me... you are a very caring & loving person... then didn't you ever feel like to have a soul mate in life?

Dumbo: sorry.... you are free not to answer this...my friendie. :O)))

Nutty: ah..u know..everytime any of my buddies asked me.. I used to tell them..u see..

Nutty: the basic requirement is to find a person who can stand me for 5 mins.. :O)

Nutty: and I cud take it from there...

Nutty: sadly, I cannot put myself in what my buddies follow the dispenser love track..

Dumbo: hmm... one can feel that...

Nutty: But. I am happy. Being in love is not the only requisite for being happy in life.

Dubmo: true... contrary... being in love, brings lot of pain ... many a times. a grave pain... deep down... may be you have or have not gone through that pain... I donno. :O)))

Nutty: I did deeply care about someone in my life... as a soul mate as u mentioned... And the hard part too.. (Which still comes to me in surprisingly fleeting moments, unexpected) is that I HAVE NEVER SEEN the person face to face...

Dumbo: Oh...

Has the love gone away now??...... Well... I know time changes everything.... & yet your heart & mind carry the scars... hmm...??

Nutty: But I know something..it pains only till the moment you accept it.. Once u accept it.. u seem to see it from a third person's perspective..

Nutty: u know.. As in someone walking through this big Museum of memories in my head, and comes to a particular point of time, finds an exhibit9a healed scar and thinks.. ah..so this is when Me had this heart broken..alright..lets see whts the next exhibit..

Dumbo: well... am unsure... about being objective like you... me a sentimental kinda person... :O)

Nutty: I am too..but I keep reminding myself that lil bit of lord Krishna's bit all the time..Nishkama karmanya.. May be it wouldn't be possible most of da times, but it helps...

Don't expect anything.. from anyone..so anything u get is a bonus that makes u happy..

Dumbo: it does... make you happy. like for no reason, when my eyes get wet out of this happiness inside... for no reason me feels lost in the air...

Nutty: that also means very few millstones around ur neck..

Nutty: my eyes too well up at an article I read in a newspaper, a magazine... a scene in a movie.. I feel that I still havent failed nature in making use of all my senses in response to events around me... I feel thankful that my city life hasnt dulled my nerve endings... to that extent...

Dumbo: Hmm.. you know it?.... you know it. It is not easy to be an artiste... every time... I breathe out music... I give a trial... a fresh one...

Nutty: I know.. I know..

Dumbo: Mind becomes so restless.... anxious...the inner challenge that music puts forward in front of me is so huge itself that no need to even think of the external affairs like competition... commercialism & all... & for an artiste like me.. falling in the parallel stream of music... which is Not focused merely on entertainment.... has I think still a different task to attend....

Nutty: u know..there r just 7 basic frequencies in this universe..seven levels of molecules dancing and pulsating with energy..we ride on them,find their cousins in between,and then their cousins..and we try to embrace them all in our mind and what comes out is an exquisite melody..and in the supreme effort of it all, we realize we have touched our innermost core..people call it divinity, nature's rhythm..whatever..

but essentially we feel lucky to have touched the heart of the universe..

Dumbo: Hmm. In My case. Those are..

seven musical notes...

seven....

musical....

notes....

I feel lucky?

aamah.... I am at pains to even think of this luck.... what do I do? What do I do? I touch the heart of the Universe.. Hmm??

Nutty: And once you have done that, u r a changed and different person..and that's why u r my favourite artiste.... :O)))

because,only when u think about it,u know the immense respect that a soul deserves for being there..

hope am not boring u with my flowery c**p

Dumbo: aah.... that adds to my pain... you know why?

Me knows well. me is Nothing... Nobody.... who just has to assume... & believe that am 'Something' when I sit on the stage...

has to appear there as an artiste... when actually true Art is miles away from you... do you know this.... what you hear is just a glimpse... of what actually it should be.... but....

Nutty: exactly.. because when u r on that journey to the center of the universe, my dear, ur mortal form shud b ur least cause of worry, and along with it, its pains, business interests and domestic disputes..

very simple question..

Dumbo: hmm..

Nutty: do u like urself the best when u r singing.. regardless of wthr u r on stage or at home, in ur favorite wicker chair on hubby dearest's shoulder humming a melody..?

Dumbo: only sometimes.... but those sometimes occur only when I am singing.... aah.... how true... a revelation... :O)))

Nutty: in that living moment, does it bother that the ur quests, ur efforts have not necessarily given u material comforts, in return as a part of ur heart wanted?

I dont think so..

Dumbo: oh....

I not even for a sec bother abt material reward etc when am singing.... that is not something which I expect out of music....

Nutty: in that moment, u r just a vessel for saraswati..

Dumbo: Music makes me actually what I am... bas... aur kuchh naheen... in every sense of the words 'I am.'

Nutty: the epitome of nature's rhythm..

Dumbo: hey... didnt I write that in Going Solo.... that I become a Patra... A carrier...? but just for that tiny moment....

Nutty: how many of the mortal souls can find themselves in that position?

Nutty: tell me..

Dumbo: True. but then.... Mayaaaaa.... Mahaaa Tthagni.... when you become YOU... aah.... it gives Pain....

Nutty: a handful..

as in when the curtains are down,u r left back on earth,with ur mortal pains..is that it?

Dumbo: Aaah... me a mortal only I know.... I know. sab illusion... :O))) created to comfort me in my distress.. which my 'mind n music' weave around me.... hmm?? Yeh Mann maha bhayankar babaaa.... :O)))

Nutty: Now. shut off from that Cosmic World where u just travelled an antara back?

Dumbo: hmm...

Dumbo: thanks for being a co- traveller... :O)

Nutty: u know, i hv this very compelling image in my head,one of the many..

Nutty: about every single person on this earth as travellers. walking on this great road to a startling source of light..

Nutty: sometimes people pass u by, u offer them a smile.. Some return, some don't..

Nutty: everyone is in his/her own pace and it is the required pace for each one of them..

Nutty: and along the way, u sometimes see some on the shoulder of the road, catching a breather...

Nutty: u offer them ur hand,

Nutty: some take it with a thankful smile..some refuse..

Nutty: sometimes u carry some on ur shoulder for a while..

Nutty: and in some point of the journey, they leave ur hand and walk away, some with a smile of gratitude, some without.. u still keep walking.. and its another day.

Dumbo: hey you.... dont you go ever on anybody's shoulder you???? always lifting others?

Nutty: I am nutty..aint I?

Dumbo: Hey Nutty, what about you, getting lifted by others? for a change buddy? :O)

Nutty: in my head..am always walking.. its from my perspective

Dumbo: eeeah... you are eccentric about lifitng poor souls like me... aah... but it feels nice to be lifted.... don't have to carry you're your own weight? Wonderful thought. he he....

Dumbo: But. me a dependent soul.... unlike you.... :O(((

Dumbo: so....

Nutty: but I am a lil curious..

Dumbo: curious? abt?

Nutty: yeah...u hv a multitude of Ur close friends my dear, been having them around since donkey's years around u, a part of Ur everyday life...

Nutty: I am just a weird traveller whom u met a few months back.. and yet,u felt at one moment that u needed to have me around to chat... Was feeling how lucky and happy I am.. at this moment..

Dumbo: Hmm.. Donno what brings tomorrow to me but. Yeah, I do feel we artistes, do have melting minds. & I find a soul-pal here. In You. I wish you all happiness my pal. :O)))

A Very Happy Valentine Day! To You! May you find sooner than later your soul-mate too & Be Happy . Always. With Loves. :O)))

P.S Hey folks! Do You know!?! Something very special happened to Nutty just after few days of this chat.. & Dumbo came to know that Nutty has finally found the soulmate & experiencing joy heavenly now! Aaah! How a true wish works magically naah? :O)))